The First Chrismas Without You.

It’s a special time. December 24rd, Christmas Eve 2021. It’s the first Christmas without my mom. Routines builds up through my 50 years that only have to end suddenly. It’s not the same way when my father passed away in December 2002. Because then life went on to do the things further for my mother. The lost of my father in christmas time trought the years,was there in the years after and with all the love for my father. There is something special when mother travels on.

The word mother its warm and security. We have heard many beautiful songs that are written and dedicated to mom. I have been told many years ago, that many sailors have cried out for god or mom when during a shipwreck. There are one thing i have to say. When I hear the song Christmas in Dixie with Alabama, my mind wanders to memories for my dad. He love that song, and good memorie about him always come to that song.

Mom! The first Christmas without you and memories flow on. Everything that was taken for granted, and was like routines from year to year, has now gained more value. Only now i know the value of the simple things I did for you among the christmas.

To decorate the home, shop for Christmas goods and gifts. The many conversations about one thing and another for Christmas. What i notice most is that now there is a final chapter closed for childhood Christmas. All the beautiful times that could reminisce and talk about are now a closed chapter. That is probably what I feel that now the last chapter has been written. The memories about dad are now closed for good. They followed you, when you fell asleep. Because you were part of those memories.

I noticed in you that you were tired in recent years, and the spark of life in you went out. The lost over dad, your parents, and our brother intensified. When our brother passed away. That did something to you. I think it was a lost you carried with you, hidden in your heart, and I understand.

Now I have to live the christmas with you in the memories. I just want to say that I love you mom, and thank you for the beauty you gave me in life. If I could give you one last thing. It would be a good Christmas hug. Love you beautiful woman